I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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