? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
