even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
