I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
