The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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