im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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