i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
this beer tastes like vomit already
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
