i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
