i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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