Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
