Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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