Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
