I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
