Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
