this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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