I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
