Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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