it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize