I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
