yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
