One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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