i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
