I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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