i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
