how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
