The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
