Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have aggressive nipples.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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