you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
