Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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