I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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