Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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