Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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