this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
