Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
