how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
