well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
