It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
