hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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