You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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