I want to make a zoo with you.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
