end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
