If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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