I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
