Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
