these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Success! We fucked roommates!
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