i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
