so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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