Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
