He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
