did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Terrible idea I love it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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