so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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