id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
